Today mark the second day of my unusual encounter with you.
it's my 1st , and I have given up it for you.
and thanks to you. I am feeling so painful deep down.
guilty as judge. Yes, I have took thing with God for granted and I have side track from reading bible and be in communication with God. Some times, when i need help then only I ask God for help. God I am sorry.
I know you are God of many chances, each time I fall, you are there to comfort me and to guide me. Thank you , God . I truly am blessed to know you as my personal savior.
I know I am in deep shit. Something that I can't un-done it again. the guilt and the pain is consistently reminding me that I have side track from God and just act on my own human flesh and my own wishful thinking.
I have let down myself, to my own basic policy. If my parents know it, they will be blown away because from a little girl they have bring me up to not play with fire.
Now, I have burn myself. I am guilty as charge. I feel so remorse sometimes. when I am alone, I started to think, this is not the way that my parent have bring me up. I do not know how to come clean infront of them anymore. The guilt linger in my heart. This is not Hollywood, this Elizabeth a girl who hold on to a basic principles for so long. But now, I let me guide down , and did it anyway. I know that I am big to be an adult, but that does not mean that it is a passport to burn myself and make my heart so guilty.
I am worried of my monthly signals, and I am worried of my blood test. I really pray that everything is going to be alright. I need forgiveness and I know I have been forgiven by God and HE is the person whom give second chance for me.
2 comments:
mei mei..
i was just going thru some old bookmarks and happen to stumble upon ur blog.. are u alrite? you dont sound too good.. buzz me when u are online n need someone to talk to k? :) cheer up.. whatever shit that you are going thru.. God is over heaven watching over. Mistakes cannot be undone.. just look to the Lord for forgiveness and move on k? :)
much love,
dajie
dear Da Jie.
Yes, thank You. I am getting better.
I release that when you are alone and need to learn on your own two feet. Sometimes, it hurts to stand alone.
I need to learn it. one step at a time. Let God lead the way.
thanks for visiting and commenting on the post. I appreciate it. I hope all it well with you too. take care and huggies.
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